Nelson Mandela has been said “If you talk to a man in language he understands, it ll go to his head, If you talk to him in his language, it will go to his heart.
The main purpose is to affect others people to listen to you- what you have to say.
Reflective Listening
First
Mirroring
Mirroring is a simple form of reflecting and involves repeating almost exactly what the speaker says.
Mirroring should be short and simple. It is usually enough to just repeat key words or the last few words spoken. This shows you are trying to understand the speakers terms of reference and acts as a prompt for him or her to continue. Be aware not to over mirror as this can become irritating and therefore a distraction from the message.
Paraphrasing
Paraphrasing involves using other words to reflect what the speaker has said. Paraphrasing shows not only that you are listening, but that you are attempting to understand what the speaker is saying.
It is often the case that people 'hear what they expect to hear' due to assumptions, stereotyping or prejudices. When paraphrasing, it is of utmost importance that you do not introduce your own ideas or question the speakers thoughts, feelings or actions. Your responses should be non-directive and non-judgemental.
It is very difficult to resist the temptation to ask questions and when this technique is first used, reflecting can seem very stilted and unnatural. You need to practice this skill in order to feel comfortable.
Reflective is the process of paraphrasing and restating both the feelings and words of the speaker. The purposes of reflecting are:
To allow the speaker to 'hear' their own thoughts and to focus on what they say and feel.
To show the speaker that you are trying to perceive the world as they see it and that you are doing your best to understand their messages.
To encourage them to continue talking.
Reflective does not involve you asking questions, introducing a new topic or leading the conversation in another direction. Speakers are helped through reflecting as it not only allows them to feel understood, but it also gives them the opportunity to focus their ideas. This in turn helps them to direct their thoughts and further encourages them to continue speaking.
More information:
Advice and example:
Speak for yourself- how you feel.But keep your expression short
Make some pause.
2.rules for listener- rewrite
Repeat what did you heard- important is what message you got it.
Don’t start to make any comment or arguing
Do it after.Example start like this, I totally understand…
Like I understand you mean…
| Intensity | Emotion | |
| “You feel | a little bit | sad/angry?” |
| “You feel | quite | helpless/depressed?” |
| “You feel | very | stressed?” |
| “You feel | extremely | embarrassed?” |
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